thumbing through an old journal tonight
words from half a lifetime away
so much is so different and yet
so much remains the same
alone again waiting for that
one great love
that always seems to
elude me
out of place
out of time
the wrong face
the wrong line
steps re-traced
intertwined
warm embrace
serpentine

some nights it's strange returning
to my cloistered monk-like cell
after evenings onstage
admired by thousands
ummm....hundreds....
ok...perhaps dozens...
but it's not the glamorous life
that most of them would imagine

your humble rock&roll narrator
instigator
agitator
spectator
perpetrator
fornicator (well...i used to be)
curator
educator
procrastinator
navigator...and after years on the road
i rarely get lost
and yet i can't find my way
to my heart...

...reading the biography of the Beatles by Bob Spitzer
and among the many discoveries and realizations,
tonight i came to learn that the first LP, With the Beatles
was released the same day as JFK's assassination...

...weird coincidence...the world pivoting on two points at the same time...

...i fear not having chances
to say words left unsaid
i fear these wild imaginings
that spin inside my head
i fear this story ending
before it even starts
i fear i might be spending
last coins from a bankrupt heart...

surge?...surge my furry pink Scandinavian ass...
...here's an exit strategy for you...planes, trains, trucks, busses...anything with wings or wheels...
load them up and bring them home
now...
today...

clocks melt
sundials shatter
hourglass clatters
to the ground
churchbells sound
no more...


untold uncounted words
reside in a smile
infinite symphonies
sing in a whisper
illusion and reality run
hand in hand
forward and
backward and
outward and
inward

enriched as Solomon
i am,
to have wandered
into the path of your
devastating smile...

Catskill Interludes (the initiation of Steve)

Zelda and Carmella
with boufants to the ceiling
and eyeshadow thick as blue crayola
wornout brassieres bear
mysterious aroma
intoxicates like soma
or some sweet retsina
long dangling earrings
like razors on my shoulders
hairspray makes me wheezy
horizontal mambo slow and sleazy
with Steve & Edie crooning
all night long
Catskill interludes...


...a tale related to me by a songwriting partner of his deflowering that just called out to be put into verse...