Saturday, August 09, 2008

...and as i was sputtering and turning blue the thought occurred to me that this is a real fucked up way to go...done in by the munchies...
...you see, sometimes i'm a bit famished when i get home from a gig, and waiting seductively in the fridge was some leftover spicy Thai curry...zapped it up in the microwave and i thought i had found all the bay leaf that they toss loosely into the mix, but there was one chunk left, lurking up against a mushroom and when i shovelled it into my face, that little leaf slid down and blocked my breathing apparatus...
...thus started the aforementioned blueness and sputtering and probably other gutteral noises usually not uttered by a civilized homo sapien...obviously i survived this quandry as i am sitting here typing...a second quick thought leapt in and said "HEIMLICH YOURSELF, YOU DUMB FUCK!!...so i doubled up both fists, placed them over my solar plexus, and slammed myself into the kitchen wall and launched the killer vegetation and it actually stuck to the wall...no shit...
...and they say meat will kill you...

2 comments:

sparrow said...

That's it.

You need a cat.

A cat would NEVER let you choke to death...

Damnit Punky.

I need you

Please be more careful.

Oatmeal.

Oatmeal 3 times a day is good.

I love you.

Unknown said...

no oatmeal...i want a chocolate covered bacon sammich...with peanut butter...and marshmallow cream...and bananas...
...oh, and a side of fried taters...

i love you too...